How much work do you personally do in your relationships? Not just the one with your spouse….the ones with your friends too.
With Hubby I’d say it’s like 40/60. Honestly I can say Hubby does more work than me. He has more patience with me then I have for myself 😉 It works for us.
As for my friends that is where it gets very uneven for me. I have some friends that are a nice 50/50. We text, talk, Facebook and hangout. Then I have other friends that I’d say were more 60/40. I do more texting and talking but it still goes both ways. Then there are the friends I feel like I do almost all the work. I feel like if I didn’t make the contact the entire relationship would just fizzle away. As I write this I am wondering if maybe that is what I should do (let the friendships dissolve) as it seems as if that is the way it is headed.
Well now I have something to ponder………what should I do????
I have blogged about Facebook before but after reading a post over at Blessed I was inspired to write again. I too was conflicted about the “friends” I had on FB. So after a while I turned off my account. When I was in the hospital on bed rest I went back. One thing that makes me feel 0k with being back on FB is knowing that the friends I have on my friends list are only people I’d talk with IRL. (I do have 3 “contacts” on my list who are tattoo artists 😉 ) For me it has been a great way to KIT with my friends and make plans. We share pictures, funny stories and recipes. I will never again fall into the trap of having “friends” for the sake of having them on my list 🙂
Since I quit Facebook I have been on the computer less and less. There was a good 3 days when I didn’t even log on. When I do go on the computer it’s to do a quick check for e-mails (which I have almost never) read my favorite blogs and check my bank balance. I didn’t realize how much time I wasted on Facebook!! And for what? To see what my “friends” were doing? A friend as defined by Webster’s is “one attached to another by affection or esteem”. Hmm….makes me think. These “friends” I have (or should I say had) on Facebook…are they attached to me by affection? Well I cannot speak for them but I can say my inbox is empty, my phone is not ringing and my doorbell never rings. So what I was really doing was “spying” on my acquaintances. I was peeking into the life of a person I knew casually. I wasn’t sharing a friendship. It wasn’t real. Now I’m not saying that these on my friend list are people I don’t like. I would gladly say hi and have a quick conversation should we see each other. But that is as far as it goes. I don’t know maybe I’m overthinking the whole thing? But to me I felt like it was fake. I didn’t like how I felt after a quick (or not so quick) visit to Facebook. Now this could be a side affect from my depression? This may be why I am seperating myself from this? Who knows, I may even go back to Facebook someday? But right now this is my thoughts on the entire thing. God only knows what tomorrow will bring.
I am saying farewell to Facebook. It’s just not like it used to be. All the “friends” I have on my friend list are not real friends anyway. It has become a waste of time.
Sigh…I am pretty annoyed right now. I just had a family member take me off their FaceBook friend list!! And it really is AHHHHHH!!! What started out as something not too big (at least for me) has snowballed into something big. Yes I said some things I shouldn’t have and she was apparently looking for an apology. She also was going to enlighten me as to why I seem to have problems with my family. Well I know why I have problems with my family. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I speak without thinking. It gets me into trouble more often then not. I also have a hard time saying that I was wrong. But guess what? This family member has made a point of pulling away from the family just as much as me. So the pot is calling the kettle black?? The only reason I’m blogging so freely about this because she commented on my last blog and said some things that I just couldn’t have public. I don’t want my blog to be about anyone other then me. And if someone reads it and is thinking I’m talking about them then I don’t know what to tell you. I blog about my personal feelings and my life. Yes if something a person has done has affected me I will blog about it. But I will NOT say Oh Jane Doe did this awful thing and she makes me mad. I will respect the other person’s privacy and only blog about MY side and how I feel (which is neither right nor wrong!!) I woke up after my hubby letting me sleep in to this and more from this person. And I don’t know what if anything she is saying about me. Yes I’ll admit I’m nervous she’ll talk about me. We had some pretty intimate conversations. But if she does say things I said then I guess I learned a lesson here. She says she won’t but she has also talked about other people to me so how can I know??? Sigh…I really don’t know where to go from here?? Yes I probably should call and talk it out. But she was pretty p*issed and used some strong language in ALL CAPS. So I don’t think she’d want to talk with me any way?? Things will be awkward for a while I guess? PTL tonight is church! I need to unload my burdens on His alter!!! (gasp…that makes me a crazy person!!!)