Tag Archives: depression

I Don’t Have A Witty Title For This Post!

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So it’s been quite a while since I last posted. Some nights I lay in bed and compose an entry…only to forget it once I wake up. I have been pleasantly busy since school has started. I started going to MOPS again. I was a bit nervous because I knew the moms that I had problems with while I was in the hospital on bedrest would be there. But being stronger now then I was then I did it. It was a bit awkward a few times but all in all I had a great time. I also went to another MOPS group a few towns over. My friend around the corner from me invited us. So now I have 2 MOPS families 😉 Jo-Jo loves his MOPS-school as he says it.

Busy Bee’s cheer season is coming to an end. I believe we only have 2 or 3 games left 😦 We both have thoroughly enjoyed this. Next year I think I may volunteer to be a coach. She is also busy with her Daisy Scout troop. My Busy Bee truly is very busy!!

I have also been quite busy with Goober and football. Picking up from practice, dropping off at practices and games and attending what games I can. He has worked very hard at this. I feel bad that our school doesn’t have a better team. He comes home so disappointed when we don’t win 😦

Gus has been growing in leaps and bounds. He continues to amaze and amuse us. He still enjoys being worn and sleeping with mommy. It’s like he must be close enough to touch me at all times. I am not complaining tho….he very well may be our last blessing 😦 We have been busy enjoying our time at MOPS and our playgroups. There are 2 Christian playgroups we go to. It is good for Gus to play with other children while I am close by as he has a very difficult time separating from me!!!

Ry-Guy is my “slug” kid. If you look at him it seems like he is barely moving lol! He is pretty much doing the same ‘ol, same ‘ol. He is still dating the same girl since February. They mostly text and talk on the phone. He has adjusted as well as he can for high school. He is doing good in school….just not doing well in the waking-up-on-time department 😆

Let’s see who is left??? Chip!!! Well I guess he is my other “slug” kid 😆 As of now he is not doing any activities. We may start boy scouts soon? I just have to see when they meet. Hubby’s job is moving to a new location an hour away from home in the next few weeks and I’m not sure he will be home to take him to the meetings.

As for me…..I have sold a few of my carriers!! I may re-open my Etsy store soon. I’m taking my time on deciding…don’t want to stress myself out. We have also started going back to church.The time was right for us. It feels good to be back. Right now I am in a very good place. I am enjoying each moment as best as I can. I know that at any moment it can all come crashing down (not that I am wishing for that!!)

I Have This Box……

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Inside my head I have this box. It’s big and pretty beat up. I’ve had this box for as long as I can remember. Inside I keep my thoughts & dreams, my memories (good & bad), my feelings, my past, my present, my future.  I try to keep this box neat and tidy. For the most part I do a good job doing this. Then every once in a while this Me but “Not Me” comes in and dumps my box. She kicks all of my “stuff” around and makes this huge mess!! I have tried many things to deal with “Not Me” .  We have fought long and hard. A few times the “Real Me” has just let the “Not Me” take over. When this happens things get bad.  Then the “Real Me” gets her strength back and kicks the “Not Me” to the curb!

I know I’m not the only one who deals with this situation. Knowing that helps me feel a little better. One day I hope to send this “Not Me” packing for good!! Today is a good day. “Real Me” is in control 😉

So Much To Say….So Little Time

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I miss blogging. When I have a quiet moment (rare) I think about the things I’d like to blog about. Then things get crazy and I don’t seem to have time. These past few weeks since the baby was born have been so full. So full of activity, so full of emotions, so full of stuff!!!

I am still in awe of the fact that Gus is here. The end of my pregnancy was so surreal. It was difficult both physically & emotionally. I went on auto-pilot just to get through the whole ordeal. Now that he is here reality is setting in. He is here! I have 6 kiddos and my youngest is a 6 week premature infant!!! Wow……funny how life’s road twists and turns 😉

My little JoJo isn’t so little any more 😦 He has turned into a little boy. I could just sit and watch him play for hours (if I had the time 😆 ) Time is going by so fast and I try not to get wrapped up in the daily grind. I try to enjoy each child as they are. I remind myself to give hugs and kisses and to listen not only with my ears but with my heart. I try to remind myself to enjoy my gifts (my children)

My time in the hospital has taught me a lot. I know all of it has happened for a reason. It taught my hubby about my daily life with the kids. He now is more understanding of me and it has made our relationship so much stronger. And it has taught me to appreciate the little things. Be happy with what you have. It could all be gone in the blink of an eye!!

Things Are Finally Turning Around!!!

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Well it’s about time things start going in a more positive direction for me. It felt like that black cloud would follow me forever! But now that I am through my whole pregnancy ordeal I am feeling better. My household seems to be improving as well. We are finally getting ahead financially. What a good feeling. Emotionally I have been feeling good. I know it’s still early but I am hopeful that I will not fall prey to the grip of postpartum depression. All in all things are looking up :mrgreen:

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My shining light, my antidepressant, my blessing

Losing My Religion

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I have avoided writing this down but it has to be said. My faith has been lost. Back in December when my depression was at its worst I gave up. I was done. And now? Well I still have no desire to pray to God or have an ongoing faith. I am done. I’d like to think this is not a permanent thing but honestly I cannot say what my future holds. Only time will tell.