How much work do you personally do in your relationships? Not just the one with your spouse….the ones with your friends too.
With Hubby I’d say it’s like 40/60. Honestly I can say Hubby does more work than me. He has more patience with me then I have for myself 😉 It works for us.
As for my friends that is where it gets very uneven for me. I have some friends that are a nice 50/50. We text, talk, Facebook and hangout. Then I have other friends that I’d say were more 60/40. I do more texting and talking but it still goes both ways. Then there are the friends I feel like I do almost all the work. I feel like if I didn’t make the contact the entire relationship would just fizzle away. As I write this I am wondering if maybe that is what I should do (let the friendships dissolve) as it seems as if that is the way it is headed.
Well now I have something to ponder………what should I do????
I have blogged about Facebook before but after reading a post over at Blessed I was inspired to write again. I too was conflicted about the “friends” I had on FB. So after a while I turned off my account. When I was in the hospital on bed rest I went back. One thing that makes me feel 0k with being back on FB is knowing that the friends I have on my friends list are only people I’d talk with IRL. (I do have 3 “contacts” on my list who are tattoo artists 😉 ) For me it has been a great way to KIT with my friends and make plans. We share pictures, funny stories and recipes. I will never again fall into the trap of having “friends” for the sake of having them on my list 🙂
I have found that most adults (or at least the ones I’ve come across) are not very open to meeting new people and making new friends. I find that so sad. I realize that as you get older that you may not have the time and energy to give to a new relationship. I know that I am busy with the demands of my family…..but I am not so busy that I cannot take the time for other people.
I have met a wonderful group of moms from my town. These women opened up their circle to me. These moms were the only ones who were there for my family when I was in the hospital. They made meals, sent cards and offered to help in any way they could. Do you know what my church “family” offered me? NOTHING! Well that is not entirely true. I did get some nasty e-mails from a few. (One of which was from the pastor) These people who I considered my “family” were so mean and unsupportive when I needed it most. The ones who were there for me were my playgroup mommies. Why can’t everyone be like this? I guess if we knew the answer to that then we wouldn’t need to ask it in the first place.
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 NIV